Foodie Reality 2017

Yes, it really has been another 12 months since I last posted about my recipe fails. Which means it has been another 12 months for me to add some new recipe fails to my ever-growing collection.

Let’s just say I wasn’t short of material…

Looking over the list below, I think the common theme for 2017 was ‘Nina stuffing up basic cooking’. It’s not like I was making soufflés, or profiteroles, or tempering chocolate or anything that requires technical skill and precision.

So please, come and take a walk down memory lane with me as I share my foodie reality for 2017 with you…

Want to see behind the scenes of a dietitian's kitchen? Spoiler alert: it is full of recipe fails. So join me as I reflect on my foodie disasters of 2017.

Recipe Fails of 2017

 

Zucchini Slice

 

Want to see behind the scenes of a dietitian's kitchen? Spoiler alert: it is full of recipe fails. So join me as I reflect on my foodie disasters of 2017.

My recipe for zucchini slice is almost a staple in my house. It is a ‘recipe’ that I don’t even need to refer to when I make it anymore – I have it stored in the old memory bank.

Based on this, you would assume it’s fail-proof by this stage.

You would be wrong.

Look, it wasn’t short of flavour. It tasted really good, just like it is supposed to- if I could get it out of the tray that is…

On this occasion, the darned thing stuck to the foil and so every piece eaten had to be inspected for bits of foil prior to consumption.

Maybe I need to refer back to the recipe after all…

 

Cooking quinoa

 

Want to see behind the scenes of a dietitian's kitchen? Spoiler alert: it is full of recipe fails. So join me as I reflect on my foodie disasters of 2017.

Cooking quinoa. It’s as simple as ‘just add water’ right?

Not for me!

I can’t even remember now what I was cooking this batch of quinoa for. But it Would. Not. Soften. A ridiculous amount of liquid was used to cook this but it just would not turn into the fluffy little grains like it is meant to.

The end.

 

Potato tortilla

 

Want to see behind the scenes of a dietitian's kitchen? Spoiler alert: it is full of recipe fails. So join me as I reflect on my foodie disasters of 2017.

This potato tortilla was meant for a Recipe Redux creation. But once again, cooking eggs has bested me.

I truly thought if you are going to make a potato tortilla, you go to the king of tapas food, Frank Camorra for recipe inspiration right? His recipe had 2-3 cups of oil?!?! So, I have no idea how he manages to get a firm, held together tortilla.

Even after I reduced the amount of oil, the tortilla was sooooooo oily and could not be flipped to cook on both sides.

FYI, this is not about being horrified with the amount of fat being used, I just personally don’t like my food swimming in oil and tasting greasy (except for marinated goats cheese and olives – those are divine!).

Oh, and it fell to pieces once I got it out of the pan (see Exhibit A above).

And just for good measure, the distribution of egg and potato were also off – some parts were super eggy – other parts were just potato.

Luckily, I had a batch of chimichurri I could douse the tortilla in and the dish was somewhat redeemable.

 

Granola

 

Want to see behind the scenes of a dietitian's kitchen? Spoiler alert: it is full of recipe fails. So join me as I reflect on my foodie disasters of 2017.

I decided to make some granola during a hectic month of work. Granola is once again a recipe that I have made many times before with no issue.

But add a distracted and frazzled Nina into the mix and this time I decided to put all of the fruit in the oven, rather than mix it through once everything else was toasted. This here is the burnt dried apple that I had to pick out and bin <insert face palm emoji>.

 

Sunflower Butter

 

Want to see behind the scenes of a dietitian's kitchen? Spoiler alert: it is full of recipe fails. So join me as I reflect on my foodie disasters of 2017.

I had some sunflower seeds leftover after making a nut free dukkah, so I thought I would try my hand at making sunflower butter.

Mainly cos I was feeling FOMO about all of the people who go on about snacking on apple slices with peanut butter.

So, all of the ‘butter’ research I did reassured me that you have to be PATIENT with processing the seeds or nuts into a butter. RESIST the urge to add oil or water or whatever to get the mixture to go ‘buttery’. Because it WILL eventually turn into a spread.

Well, there is also a thing called being TOO patient and letting it OVER process so that it goes from being that peanut butter consistency to a weird paste. I actually stood there watching it become sunflower butter and let it keep going until it looked like cookie dough. A bit like how when you over whip cream it turns to….well, butter hahahahaha.

Second lesson learnt – I don’t actually like the taste of sunflower butter, even when seasoned with some salt and maple syrup. You PB lovers can keep your carefree snacks. I will JOMO instead.

 

So, that wraps up another year of recipe fails, aka, my foodie reality. You might also like to read my recipe fails from 2016 here.

 

Tell me about your recipe fails in the comments below.

 

Want to see behind the scenes of a dietitian's kitchen? Spoiler alert: it is full of recipe fails. So join me as I reflect on my foodie disasters of 2017.


Nina Mills is a university qualified Nutritionist, health writer and lover of good food. She aims to help people develop healthy relationships with food without diets, restrictions or kilojoule counting.


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